UFO CULT PREDICTS APOCALYPSE IN JULY OF 2011
CLEVELAND, Ohio, January 5, 2011: The Church of the SubGenius has
announced that the end of the world will take place on Tuesday, July
5, 2011, at precisely 7:00 AM. In preparation for the fulfillment of
this doomsday prophecy, the Church is requesting that all of its
members participate in a bizarre religious ceremony taking place in southeastern Ohio, during the final weekend before the arrival of the apocalypse.
Since its inception in 1953, Church founder J.R. "Bob" Dobbs has
predicted that a fleet of flying saucers will arrive at the beginning
of July to destroy the worldwide Conspiracy against the Church of the SubGenius, while all ordained SubGenius ministers will be rescued by
escape vessels piloted by the Alien Sex Goddesses, also known as the
Xists.
The Church is inviting all of its members worldwide to gather together
for the final hours in Pomeroy, Ohio from Wednesday, June 29 to
Tuesday, July 5, at a clothing-optional outdoor campground called
Wisteria Community. The first X-Day gathering took place in 1996 in
upstate New York, and the event has increased in size and participants
each following year. 1998 was designated the first true "X-Day," and
each successive year has added one to the total. This will be the
first year the SubGenius cult holds its X-Day ritual at Wisteria in
Ohio, after "Bob" decreed the new location is closer to the aliens'
chosen "Ground Zero" landing spot. This year's celebration in 2011 is
X-Day 14, or X-Day XIV.
The Church has been engaged in a massive recruitment campaign to
increase the numbers of its membership before the arrival of the
Xists. According to Church records, the organization currently has approximately 100,000 members worldwide. SubGenius recruitment has
been especially dedicated among the ranks of people who refuse to
conform to the norms of society, including disbelievers, blasphemers, pranksters, rebels, hackers, pornographers, geeks, and outcasts.
The Church is seeking underground bands, indie rockers, performance
artists, and performers and producers from the adult entertainment
industry, because sexual freedom has been an important part of Church
doctrine from the start. X-Day will be a celebration of free
expression, performance art, rock and roll, pornography, and adult entertainment; and certain parts of the event will be restricted to
adults only. Only ordained ministers of the Church of the SubGenius
are allowed at the event, but the Church is accepting memberships at
its standard rate of $30 up until the final hours of July 4.
The Church of the SubGenius has been no stranger to controversy since
its foundation, and the upcoming X-Day celebration promises to be no
different. In the late 1980s, members of the Church were accused of
spreading a virus in Macintosh computers known as the "Peace Virus."
Numerous articles have been written on the Church in such noteworthy publications as the New York Times, Washington Post, Wired Online,
Boston Globe, U.S. News and World Report; and broadcast reports have
been produced by CNN and NPR. In April 1999, officials of the city of Cambridge, Massachusetts shut down an official SubGenius Devival
gathering in the belief that the Church was affiliated with the
Trenchcoat Mafia (the organization blamed for the Columbine high
school shootings), though authorities later realized the association
was mistaken. In its January 1, 2000 issue, a Time magazine poll
declared J.R. "Bob" Dobbs the biggest fraud of the 20th century.
The Church received additional media attention in 2006 when one of its high-ranking members, known in SubGenius circles as Reverend Mary
Magdalen, became involved in a legal battle for custody of her son due
to her membership in the Church. This case has been covered in such
popular online sites as Boing Boing, Fark, and Wikinews (Wikipedia's
news reporting service).
In 2008, the notorious hacker collective known as ANONYMOUS took up
the cause of the Church of the SubGenius, and many of the alleged
"hackers on steroids" were among the attendees at its mysterious
festival. In an astounding case of the pot calling the kettle black, representatives of the Church of Scientology have accused the Church
of the SubGenius of being "a dangerous UFO cult," and SubGenius
members (and SubGenius memes) have been among the ranks of "Anonymous"
since its war against Scientology began.
Detailed information about X-Day can be found on the World Wide Web at
the X-Day Web site:
www.modemac.com/x-day
The official home page of the Church of the SubGenius can be found at:
www.subgenius.com
Facebook page for X-Day XIV:
www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_191203807560576
Reverend Mary Magdalen's custody case:
www.modemac.com/wiki/Reverend_Magdalen
Message to Anonymous from the Church of the SubGenius:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rPfHOwxhhg
Photographers, entertainers, production companies, radio broadcasters,
and all media producers are encouraged to contact the Church at its
Cleveland, Ohio headquarters at 1-888-669-2323.
--
The High Weirdness Project
http://www.modemac.com
--
poindexter fortran | realitycheckbbs.org
|
pfortran@realitycheckbbs.org
| 1:218/700@fidonet
--- SBBSecho 2.12-Win32
* Origin: realitycheckBBS |
http://www.realitycheckbbs.org (1:218/700)