The Hebronics Controversy
The New York City Public Schools have officially declared Jewish English, now dubbed Hebronics, as a second language. Backers of the move say the city schools are the first in the nation to recognize Hebronics as a valid language and a significant attribute of American culture.

According to Howard Ashland, linguistics professor at Brooklyn College and renowned Hebronics scholar, the sentence structure of Hebronics derives from middle and eastern European language patterns, as well as Yiddish. Professor Shulman explains, ⌠In Hebronics, the response to any question is usually another question with a complaint that is either implied or stated . Thus µHow are you?╞ may be answered, µHow should I be, with my bad feet?╞ ÷

Shulman says that Hebronics is a superb linguistic vehicle for expressing sarcasm or skepticism. An example is the repetition of a word with ⌠sh÷ or
⌠shm÷ at the beginning: ⌠Mountains, shmountains. Stay away. You should want a nosebleed?÷ Another Hebronics pattern is moving the subject of a sentence to the end, with its pronoun at the beginning: ⌠It╞s beautiful, that dress. ⌠ Shulman says one also sees the Hebronics verb moved to the end of the sentence. Thus the response to a remark such as ⌠He╞s slow as a turtle,÷ could be:
⌠Turtle, shmurtle! Like a fly in Vaseline he walks. ⌠ ÷The responses must have that particular eastern European Jewish intonation,÷ adds Dr . Shulman.

Shulman provided the following examples from his best-selling textbook, Switched-On Hebronics:

Question: ⌠What time is it?÷
English answer : ⌠Sorry, I don╞t know. ÷ Hebronic response : ⌠What am I, a clock?÷

Remark: ⌠I hope things turn out okay . ÷ English answer : ⌠Thanks. ÷
Hebronic response : ⌠I should be so lucky!÷

Remark: ⌠Hurry up. Dinner╞s ready. ÷ English answer: ⌠Be right there. ÷ Hebronic response: ⌠Alright already, I╞m coming. What╞s with the µhurry╞ business? Is there a fire?÷

Remark: ⌠I like the tie you gave me; I wear it all the time. ÷ English answer: ⌠Glad you like it. ÷ Hebronic response: ⌠So what╞s the matter; you don╞t like the other ties I gave you?÷

Remark: ⌠Sarah and I are engaged. ÷ English answer: ⌠Congratulations!÷
Hebronic response: ⌠She could stand to lose a few pounds. ÷

Question: ⌠Would you like to go riding with us?÷ English answer: ⌠Just say when. ÷
Hebronic response: ⌠Riding, shmiding! Do I look like a cowboy?÷

To the guest of honour at a birthday party: English comment: ⌠Happy birthday. ÷ Hebronic comment: ⌠A year smarter you should become. ÷

Remark: ⌠It╞s a beautiful day. ÷
English answer: ⌠Sure is. ÷
Hebronic response: ⌠So the sun is out; what else is new?÷

Answering a phone call from a son:
English comment: ⌠It╞s been a while since you called. ÷ Hebronic comment: ⌠You didn╞t wonder if I╞m dead already?÷

∙From the Sesquihumidor; Issue 2012/04/06 (Humor)

TL/DR: URL for bookmarking or saving for later: https://web.stanford.edu/dept/linguistics/cgi-bin/sesquipedalian/?p=10281

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-6
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)

First off, WELCOME if you're a newcomer, or anoldcomer, recently returned; I appreciate everyone in this echo -- you're why I bother for as little as they pay me! YOU are worth it! (sure, that counts as my objoke inclusion for this post, if I want it to be it ;) )

Say hi, share your favourite joke, rated PG-14, where you're from,. & why that place is funny; maybe a funny childhood story from your own childhood or someone you were close to,growing up? Jump in, have fun; reply to any post you read in here, should you feel the urge -- nothing you see is private. Do include funny content n every post, though, please (we call that an Obligatory Joke(ObJoke for short), when you add in an extra bit of funny to make up for off-topic chat content)

Okay, enough intro, on to the main point(s) of this posting. . .

Rules, Regulations, & Guidelines for Fidonet's FUNNY Jokes and Stories echo

This file and the rules as per the Fido official echo description constitute our rules & regulations, binding on every user in this echo, by their participation (whether passive(reading) or active(posting); if this displeases you, you know the way you came in -- you may & should exit the same way & never return.

Echo purpose: to hear something repeated you've just said.

Note all are labeled #1 as they're all important --

#1: You must (re)read these every time you see them posted by myself or another moderator, addressed to "All"

#1: even if a rule, below, seems phrased humorously (even your mods try to stay on topic) it is a hard & fast rule, requiring your adherence

#1: Have fun or GTFO

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#1: every post must contain funny content (text)

#1: English(UK+CAN) is the natural language of the fully evolved human being, thus English is the echo's official language. American English is American & true English<TM> users may feel free to humorously(key) poke fun at Americanisms

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& being funny)

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#1: The End (or is it?)

APPENDIX i:
Remember: Even if some jokes in here seem a bit "difficult" for you to enjoy, that humour is not universal; this echo is for everyone.

The most important thing is:

#1 Have fun
#1 Include a joke in every post/reply
#1 Keep it all PG-16

May the 4th be with you! (ancient Dad Joke now)

Q: Where do storm troopers do their shopping? A: The store next to Target.

Q: What is the internal temperature of a Tauntaun? A: Lukewarm!

Q: When did Anakin's teachers know he was going to turn to the Dark Side? A: In the Sith grade.

Okay, see you next month -- hope to see lots of your favourite puns and jokes on any topic that amuses you. . .


--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-7
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)