Oops; I, your fallibull Moderator, forgot to include ObFunny to my last post. . .

Yes, this Pope admits to being fallible, but I'm improving on that front with age. . . (or vice-versa & I'm tool durned old & senile to know the difference?)

hmm, right. . contests as a topic:

My wife and I have contests to see who can scream ⌠NO!÷ louder, but she always wins.
She no╞s better than me.

Q: Why do people from Norway always win against Englishpeople in tear-shedding contests?
A: Because crying is grσter in Norwegian.

Two sketchers had an art contest.
It ended in a draw.

Q: 10 puns entered a contest. Who won you ask? A: No pun in ten did

[It's ancient and I'm almost ashamed to have included it, but c'est la vie.]

A meat-loving king has a contest to find the next royal chef A meat-loving king has a contest to find the next royal chef. He invites 3 renowned chefs from all over the kingdom to serve him and the favorite will become the new royal chef!

The first chef serves the king an enormous rack of ribs. "Very impressive," said the king.

The second chef serves a huge steak, cooked to perfection. "So satisfying," said the king.

The third chef gives the king a plate with small rocks on a bed of shredded cabbage. "What the hell is this," the king asks.

The third chef says, "These rocks fell from the sky into my back yard. Indeed, ribs and steak are very meaty, but asteroids are meteor!"




--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-6
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)

George,

The third chef says, "These rocks fell from the sky into my back yard. Indeed, ribs and steak are very meaty, but asteroids are meteor!"

Cue the music for "Starry, Starry Night". <G>

And, to go with the tagline below, "When told to cut carbs, I sliced
a pizza"...because "MNP-5 means 'modem needs a 5 topping pizza'".

Daryl

... I burned 500 calories at lunch; left a pizza in the oven.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.15-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

George,

The third chef says, "These rocks fell from the sky into my back yard.
Indeed, ribs and steak are very meaty, but asteroids are meteor!"

Cue the music for "Starry, Starry Night". <G>
And, to go with the tagline below, "When told to cut carbs, I sliced
a pizza"...because "MNP-5 means 'modem needs a 5 topping pizza'".

I'd've thought it would be Modemmer needs a 5-topping pizza. . .

My modem does not eat better than I do, EVER! That's Rule #1 (ok, they're all numbered #1!)

My modem can't complain, I give it plenty of bytes. When I bought a 2Tb external drive, I had it full inside of two months, even though technically I only have a download bandwidth cap of 50Mb (10Mb per available email-an old dial-up definition of their product, I think -- they took off limits during covid, so I've been having fun, pulling down gigs &gigs, & the occasional Tera. . .)

Price is right -- with TV & a phone line (for my fax), I pay about $100/mo for unlimited bandwidth at 300Mbps speed (quite adequate, I find)

I use my mobile for all my long distance calls, using Skype for international calling (for free, when doing it for work on their Skype account) I can call anywhere in USA & Canada included in my mobile plan, but I don't call much beyond what I do for work. . . I already had a skype plan allowing me unlimited calling to phones in US & Canada for $25/year (not too shabby - I run Skype on my Mobile & use my bluetooth in my war -- & voila! I'm talking to whomever I need to, in perfect convenience & no extra charges & no lag time during the calls. .

Man, how well I remember one phone tied to the wall at one location only, with a 3-foot cord to give you that much room to move while chatting on the phone.

Then came longer cords & one could finally go around the corner &sit while on the phone,. then I missed it, but we had phones that could plug into anywhere in your house, then we had portable handsets for these landline phones. . .

Then the joy of party lines, to save $5/mo. .. & listen in on the neighbours who listen in on your calls. . . teenage me always hoping to get a teen girl on the line talking dirty with her girlfriends on the phone (never happened,of course, just her granny talking about her hemorrhoid cream bunching up in the wrinkles of her butt!); served me right, I know! LOL


--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-6
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)

A wee bit late, as the Cyberpope has been overly busy in the freezing Canadian winter. . .

First off, WELCOME if you're a newcomer, or an oldcomer, recently returned; I appreciate everyone in this echo -- you're why I bother for as little as they pay me! YOU are worth it! (sure, that counts as my objoke inclusion for this post, if I want it to be it ;) )

Say hi, share your favourite joke, rated PG-14, where you're from,. & why that place is funny; maybe a funny childhood story from your own childhood or someone you were close to,growing up? Jump in, have fun; reply to any post you read in here, should you feel the urge -- nothing you see is private. Do include funny content n every post, though, please (we call that an Obligatory Joke(ObJoke for short), when you add in an extra bit of funny to make up for off-topic chat content)

Okay, enough intro, on to the main point(s) of this posting. . .

Rules, Regulations, & Guidelines for Fidonet's FUNNY Jokes and Stories echo

This file and the rules as per the Fido official echo description constitute our rules & regulations, binding on every user in this echo, by their participation (whether passive(reading) or active(posting); if this displeases you, you know the way you came in -- you may & should exit the same way & never return.

Echo purpose: to hear something repeated you've just said.

Note all are labeled #1 as they're all important --

#1: You must (re)read these every time you see them posted by myself or another moderator, addressed to "All"

#1: even if a rule, below, seems phrased humorously (even your mods try to stay on topic) it is a hard & fast rule, requiring your adherence

#1: Have fun or GTFO

#1: don't be a jackass; you're a guest in other people's home.

#1: every post must contain funny content (text)

#1: English(UK+CAN) is the natural language of the fully evolved human being, thus English is the echo's official language. American English is American & true English<TM> users may feel free to humorously(key) poke fun at Americanisms

#1: grammar & punctuation is probably important -- mis-use opens yourself up to funny or punny ridicule.

#1: leave the moderating to the moderator(s); you may not see it being done, but we work behind the scenes often. If you have a complaint, echomail or email your mods; do NOT post into the echo (unless you're following rule#1 of course,
& being funny)

#1: This echo is rated PG-16; i.e. content should not be overly shocking to the average 16 year old (boy or girl); no porn -- that's elsewhere in cyberspace

#1: NO ads for products, services, echos, pages, or ANYTHING, except as you've sent to the mod, with agreed upon payment, & the mod posts it for you, following all rules.

#1: NO auto-posting (bots); this echo is for humans; if you can fully understand these rules, you are likely human.

#1: the mods are not responsible for any damage to your connection devices (including modems & computer & monitor) perpetrated by a moderator's use of the Freister Device (detects your personal(not BBS, not your fido upline) source system & sends proprietary signals to cause your disks, CPU, mainboard, & modem to die ("fry" from Freister, the inventor, & my friend)

#1: You have been warned

#1 Swearing should be kept to a minimum -- & only as befits the joke/thread -- we're adults here & should act & talk like it. If you're mixing them in randomly like salt & pepper, you're too young to be in here.

#1: These rules should appear once a month, but regardless if you've seen or read them, you MUST follow all, or delist the echo &/or visit others (&/or make your own, even!)

#1: We only roast the ones we love

#1: The End (or is it?)

APPENDIX i:
Remember: Even if some jokes in here seem a bit "difficult" for you to enjoy, that humour is not universal; this echo is for everyone.

The most important thing is:

#1 Have fun
#1 Include a joke in every post/reply
#1 Keep it all PG-16

& my OBJoke:

Dashing through the snow,
It's thirty-two below(-32C),
My hands are cold, my feet are numb, For some this weather sure ain't fun.

My eyes are tearing up,
My nose has turned bright red,
My fingers hurt, the car won't start, I should have stayed in bed.

Ohhhh! Off to work, Off to work,
I gotta get to work.
The car won't start, the battery died, I'll have to try to hitch a ride.

Standing in the cold.
I'm waiting for the bus.
If I don't freeze to death today,
It's 'cause pneumonia got me fust.

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-7
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)