Part 1 of 2...

Again??? Wheres the Monks....Oh yeah I didn't reply yet or QWKmail it
or something...well what the H@#$ you never got it yet...mmmm

Quoting Philip Harris to Peter Coggon <=-

Who's Phil....

He's "fill" now... or is it? No, wait; that's the /other/ Phil.

Phil who? where? what? which other? or that Phil...hi Phil...are you Phil? yes you there!!! R U Phil?

(And I thought -I- was confused.)

I enjoy being confused. Ever since I meet John Wilson and Shaggy.

Poor, poor man...please come this way. The nurses at Flipside Medical Industries will take good care of you. Yes, that's right...I AM Dr.
Phil. No, not THAT Dr. Phil...I'm the, err, he's the fake you see.

I'll be there. Please send transport, and I will bring my new guard
with me. They have to keep that tribute well inserted to keep me happy.

NO~! Not Dr Phil... aaaah bummer... I wanted Dr Phil...all of them
only get to the teenage years and then they are gone, and a open
window. I am left alone, and the impact on my person is of a
high magnitude...aaaah phooy I can't spell.

So, please answer a few simple questions so we can get a clear idea of what's ailing you. Do you suffer from <spack> allergies?

No Doc...on somethings. But I like campers thrashing about in a poison
Ivy patch. Planted that on the Island to keep the tourists out.

OK. Does the
smell of drivel cause you instant intoxication?

"OK" What...you never heard the answer yet? I love instant intoximacation and drivel along to find it whenever I am let off the leash...Big responsibile keep me in working nowadays ...so lets drivel on and see what types of
drivel I can drivel...huh

I see. Are you revolted
at the taste of fresh road-kill Chili<tm>?

I love fresh Road Kill. I even have the menu from the Road Kill Kitchen
but then when I order anywhere else they won't serve me. Poodle Noodle
with Squashed Squirrel is nice. They don't even serve that coffee
that is bean thats been thru the asian cats or whatever.

Mhmm. Have you been

vaccinated against the Glodbreg virus?

I liked to be vaccinated, but then I don't know if they are trying a
coup. Gotta be careful. Big turnover every day and week etc...so
virus don't stand much of a chance. Hmmm ... could you come
and bring samples...but only if we could spread them about the world
as a gesture of friendship etc...mmm..maybe get the monks to do
it as a convert operation....I like it. You gave me a great idea.
Virus in a bag...for Christmas... Better then a blast from the past
or bag...hahahaha..I love it.

Oh really? Do dwarf-tossing
contests bring on an urge to call your local PETA chapter? Ah, ok I
think we can make a clear diagnosis now.

NO ... I like dwarf-tossing...but then they are so small ...wee little
people that they are not a draw in the arena. I used to have it
on TV until the ratings dropped, so then ...we closed the TV too.
Boring crap.

You obviously are suffering from a case of cranio-rectal inversion.
Its not a bad case...its not impacted yet, but we do need to operate
very soon. NURSE!!!! My forceps please...

YES YES Thats it Doc... I was inversioned and inverted at birth
and explains so many things....the impact was the best...but you're
too late... when I impacted..I found my true calling to take over.

He's a wise old driveller whose jackboots you are not worthy to lick. And he may literally be "fill" now, as well...

Phil of the fill.....I need someone like Phil the fill in my domain.
Then I could fire WBR from a few postions.

WBRs have not been cleared by the FDA as safe for sexual activity. It seems that this Chinese knockoff product has a tendency to ship with
weak spots that will rip at your first sight of any wimmin's bedoobies.
I would discourage you from spending your greenbacks on WBRs. Instead, please sned your $127.50 to my net address and I will ensure you a
years supply of a quality product that is entirely safe yet
pleasurable. (Nurse, do you still have that length of garden hose and

Continued to next message...

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