On Mon, 27 May 2013 04:48:09 -0400, JWK4EVER wrote
(in article <2e425de4-1c3c-41ee-a88e-3aa71fa6b9fb@googlegroups.com>):

I am looking for Matthew Vincent, he was a friend of me at Usenet but due to my psychosis several years ago we have lost contact. He had to endure my delusional tantrums in email and I want to apologize to him.

I am also looking for Gregory from Paris in France, he and I were pen pals in

email. We lost contact many years ago. We both were fans of Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors. We both liked Vantu very much!

Until next time

JWKalk

Jan, I don't know Gregory, and unfortunately I haven't seen Matthew here in years. Good luck finding him!

Amy

--
Diligent Moderatrix
--- SBBSecho 2.20-Win32
* Origin: Time Warp of the Future BBS - Home of League 10 (1:340/400)

On Monday, 27 May 2013 20:48:09 UTC+12, JWK4EVER wrote:

I am looking for Matthew Vincent, he was a friend=20
of me at Usenet but due to my psychosis several=20
years ago we have lost contact. He had to endure=20
my delusional tantrums in email and I want to=20
apologize to him.=20

Hello Jan-Willem,=20

I still read this newsgroup occasionally, but not very often. I'm preoccupi=
ed with other matters right now, and have a very busy schedule. Also, I hav=
e Aspergers, which impairs my organisation and time management.=20

It's nice to see you again. I hope you are well. I didn't feel offended or = bothered by anything you said in email. I'm guessing that you have sometime=
s been rejected by other people in social situations in the past, and that = you feel confused about why this is. So, you're left wondering what's OK to=
say and what isn't. Social situations must feel like an invisible minefiel=
d to you, and this must be a tough burden to live with. You are very brave = and strong to continue trying your best in the face of all this.=20

You don't need to feel so guilty and apologetic all the time. You're a good=
person and you contribute positively to the world around you. You try your=
best in the face of difficult circumstances that are beyond your control. = There are plenty of selfish jerks around, and you're not one of them. That = janitor you told me about seems like a nasty bully and a prize idiot.=20

Here is my case formulation of you, as of last we talked, which admittedly = was several years ago. You most likely meet criteria for an Axis II delusio= nal disorder, as your psychiatrist(s) diagnosed you with. An Axis II disord=
er is generally less severe than an Axis I disorder. You don't meet criteri=
a for schizophrenia, which involves delusions, hallucinations and disordere=
d thinking. You only have delusions, and those delusions that you have are = not severe in intensity. Your logical understanding of causality is not imp= aired, but you sometimes engage in delusions as a defence mechanism to prot= ect your self-esteem and manage core identity issues.=20

Psychiatrists often speak of "delusional guilt". My interpretation of delus= ional guilt is that it typically involves a negative schema, combined with =
an impairment in your ability to use rational evidence to counter the negat= ive thoughts you've had about yourself.=20

Your IQ seems to be above average (tests can measure it more precisely), an=
d you're smart enough to learn more than one language. Your vocabulary in E= nglish, which isn't your first language, is pretty good. Your ability to un= derstand the world around you does not seem to be impaired, except for your=
negative self-image and delusions pertaining to yourself and your core ide= ntity. The Babylon 5 questions, such as "Who are you?" and "What do you wan=
t" are worth considering. They're not easy questions to answer. It's painfu=
l to be yourself, so you use delusions as a form of escapism.=20

Last we talked, you were comfortable and perhaps even enthusiastic about re= ceiving help and support in this newsgroup. Consequently, I'm assuming that=
you're consenting to hearing the above material publicly. Please accept my=
apologies in the event that this assumption of mine was inaccurate.=20

It's pretty quiet in here these days, and I'm not going to be around much. = That's why I figured I'd give you this formulation now, for you to take awa=
y with you if you wish. I'd like to be clear that nothing I say to you onli=
ne can take the place of formal therapy in "real life" in your local area. = So, if you're seeing professionals such as a psychiatrist or clinical psych= ologist, please be guided by them. If you wish to print out this post of mi=
ne and show it to a professional you're seeing locally, please feel free to=
do so.=20

The reason we lost contact is not due to your psychosis, or anything about = you, or anything that you said or did. I simply got too busy doing other th= ings, and lost contact with other people besides you. I'm not very good at = keeping up with email correspondence. I'd lose my head if it wasn't screwed=
on. Your apology is definitely accepted, and wasn't necessary in the first=
place.=20

Take care, and I wish you all the best. I'll hopefully see you on this news= group again sometime.=20

Kind regards,=20
Matthew=20
--- SBBSecho 2.20-Win32
* Origin: Time Warp of the Future BBS - Home of League 10 (1:340/400)

Hello Jan-Willem,

Hello Matthew! Sorry for the late reply

I still read this newsgroup occasionally, but not very often. I'm preoccupied

with other matters right now, and have a very busy schedule. Also, I have Aspergers, which impairs my organisation and time management.


I have the same problems here, I have perhaps also a kind of autism, I am chaotic. I have forgotten to read this newsgroup often. ThatΓÇÖs why my reply is so late

It's nice to see you again. I hope you are well. I didn't feel offended or

bothered by anything you said in email. I'm guessing that you have sometimes been rejected by other people in social situations in the past, and that you feel confused about why this is. So, you're left wondering what's OK to say and
what isn't. Social situations must feel like an invisible minefield to you, and
this must be a tough burden to live with. You are very brave and strong to continue trying your best in the face of all this.


Thank you, and I am well and also happy to see you again, I no longer do the job I really hate and despise; many years ago I have lost my job and I am one extended sick leave ever since. I am doing voluntary work that gives me no stress at all. So I am not so desperate any more and I am waiting with patience
for things to come…

You don't need to feel so guilty and apologetic all the time. You're a good

person and you contribute positively to the world around you. You try your best
in the face of difficult circumstances that are beyond your control. There are plenty of selfish jerks around, and you're not one of them. That janitor you told me about seems like a nasty bully and a prize idiot.


I am no longer have to see him again.

Hey I have to go now. To be continued later on the day or night
--- SBBSecho 2.20-Win32
* Origin: Time Warp of the Future BBS - Home of League 10 (1:340/400)

Sorry for the late reply, I have been neglecting this newsgroup and just have read your response. I am happy to see you again. The reason that I have neglected this newsgroup is because JMS has left this newsgroup for facebook, where I spent time on it, I am one of his friends. I do no longer do the job I really hate and despise; years ago I have lost my job and I am one extended sick leave ever since. I am doing voluntary work that gives me no stress at all. So I am not so desperate any more and I am waiting with patience for things to come. It is rather late I will reread what you have written and respond to it properly shortly.
--- SBBSecho 2.20-Win32
* Origin: Time Warp of the Future BBS - Home of League 10 (1:340/400)

Here is my case formulation of you, as of last we talked, which admittedly

was several years ago. You most likely meet criteria for an Axis II delusional disorder, as your psychiatrist(s) diagnosed you with. An Axis II disorder is generally less severe than an Axis I disorder. You don't meet criteria for schizophrenia, which involves delusions, hallucinations and disordered thinking. You only have delusions, and those delusions that you have are not severe in intensity. Your logical understanding of causality is not impaired, but you sometimes engage in delusions as a defence mechanism to protect your self-esteem and manage core identity issues.



"Never surrender dreams". I had to surrender *all* my dreams (my delusions) in
becoming sane! I took me about 7 years and during that time I have been committed two times into a mental institution. On the bright side I have learned that Vantu is just as fictional creation as Santa or the Easter Bunny. I am no longer letting him drive mine life with the help of proper medication!

Psychiatrists often speak of "delusional guilt". My interpretation of

delusional guilt is that it typically involves a negative schema, combined with
an impairment in your ability to use rational evidence to counter the negative thoughts you've had about yourself.



I have a very low self-esteem indeed!

Your IQ seems to be above average (tests can measure it more precisely), and

you're smart enough to learn more than one language. Your vocabulary in English, which isn't your first language, is pretty good. Your ability to understand the world around you does not seem to be impaired, except for your negative self-image and delusions pertaining to yourself and your core identity. The Babylon 5 questions, such as "Who are you?" and "What do you want" are worth considering. They're not easy questions to answer. It's painful
to be yourself, so you use delusions as a form of escapism.



And I have used delusions also as a mask.

Last we talked, you were comfortable and perhaps even enthusiastic about

receiving help and support in this newsgroup. Consequently, I'm assuming that you're consenting to hearing the above material publicly. Please accept my apologies in the event that this assumption of mine was inaccurate.



No apologizes needed, this assumption of you is accurate!

It's pretty quiet in here these days, and I'm not going to be around much.

That's why I figured I'd give you this formulation now,
for you to take away with you if you wish. I'd like to be clear that nothing I say to you online can take the place of formal therapy in "real life" in your local area. So, if you're seeing professionals such as a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist, please be guided by them. If you wish to print out this post of mine and show it to a professional you're seeing locally, please feel free to do so.



Thank you for the information! I am on anti depressants and anti psychotics and
am seeing a psychiatrist regularly

The reason we lost contact is not due to your psychosis, or anything about

you, or anything that you said or did. I simply got too busy doing other things, and lost contact with other people besides you. I'm not very good at keeping up with email correspondence. I'd lose my head if it wasn't screwed on.
Your apology is definitely accepted, and wasn't necessary in the first place.



Thank you for accepting my apologies, I hope you arenΓÇÖt offended that I have responded late to your posting in this newsgroup

Take care, and I wish you all the best. I'll hopefully see you on this

newsgroup again sometime.

You will see me frequently

Until Next Time

Jan-Willem
--- SBBSecho 2.20-Win32
* Origin: Time Warp of the Future BBS - Home of League 10 (1:340/400)

<<Hello Jan-Willem,>>
Hello Matthew
<<I still read this newsgroup occasionally, but not very often. I'm preoccupied
with other matters right now, and have a very busy schedule. Also, I have Aspergers, which impairs my organisation and time management.>>
When I were a young child they have diagnosed me to be autistic
<<It's nice to see you again. I hope you are well. I didn't feel offended or bothered by anything you said in email. I'm guessing that you have sometimes been rejected by other people in social situations in the past, and that you feel confused about why this is. So, you're left wondering what's OK to say and
what isn't. Social situations must feel like an invisible minefield to you, and
this must be a tough burden to live with. You are very brave and strong to continue trying your best in the face of all this.>>
You are right, I guess. I thank you for the compliment; it means much to me
--- SBBSecho 2.25-Win32
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