From Newsgroup: alt.recovery.aa

Johnny is in severe pain and trauma. He needs our help. Its our duty
as a fellow member of AA and ARAA to help him out of the pain he feels
day after day. this is where we can help. It's apparent that Johnny
is not drinking enough alcohol to kill the pain. This is because he
can not afford the amount of alcohol he requires. Therefore it is our
duty to enable him.

Judging from his posts, it appears that he mostly drinks beer. This
is a good thing because beer is cheaper than most harder alcoholic
beverages. Therefore, after doing some calculations, it appears that
Johnny requires twelve beers per hour, for 18 hours per day, to keep
his blood alcohol level above 0.30, in which case he will be in a
permanent coma most or all of the time. This is assuming he weighs
around 170lbs. This brings his daily amount to 216 beers per day, (or
18 twelve packs per day).

The average 12 pack of beer costs just under $10 these days, so
Johnny's daily beer costs should be about $180 per day. Of course
there's sales tax, and delivery. Obviously Johnny wont be able to
drive to the liquor store, so he may as well have it delivered in
semi-truck loads. Therefore, with the delivery costs, lets just round
the figure off to $200 per week. Using this figure, it will cost him
$10,400 per year (52 weeks) to stay drunk enough to remain in a coma
at all times.

Therefore we need to raise $200 per week, or a total of $10,400 every
year to enable Johnny. Lets see if we can collect enough money this
week to cover his full years supply, and have a semi-truck just
deliver his yearly quota of 6,570 twelve packs, all at one time. This
should save a little money on delivery costs rather than have the
truck come weekly, plus buying in quantity always saves a few dollars.

All donation amounts are welcome, but lets shoot for one thousand
dollar donation amounts. Who of you will be the first to donate
$1000? How about ___ your name here ___.

All donations are NOT tax deductible!

While we're at it, would one of you computer savvy guys please create
a website and call it: "www.enable-a-drunk.com". I know the wonderful
people from Al-Anon will appreciate and cherish it.....

----

If by chance one of you is against ENABLING drunks, we could all save
a lot of money if that "one" person just drove to Johnny's house, and
dragged his sad drunken ass to a rehab hospital, and kindly asked them
to lose the key to Johnny's room for at least one year. Maybe, just
maybe, after one year of forced sobriety, he would be able to stop
drinking, and attend some AA meetings too. Even though it seems
doubtful he would last more than a week, once he left the hospital.
But it's always worth a try, and miracles can happen to people, even
to those who are not religious.

---
By the way, IS JOHNNY IN DENIAL? What do you think?

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